Thursday, November 18, 2010

Today I Had To Discipline.

Some parts of being a mommy aren't that fun. 

Such as, when Ash decides that part of being two is throwing all-out rebellious, screaming, kicking, red-faced tantrums.  I couldn't just ignore it either.  Who wants their child to think that this is an acceptable way to get what they want?  Um.  Not me. 

The first episode was after I had asked her to come eat some lunch.  She decided to have this fit on the stairs.  I didn't have the best hold on her, yet despite her obvious desire to throw her dramatic self down those stairs I caught her.  And I spanked her.  Then I put her in the corner.  I haven't really spanked her before.  I've swatted her, but that only wounds one's pride.  I really want her to remember that trying to break her neck on the stairs is NOT good.  She seemed quite agreeable and happy once she had calmed down.  Ate her lunch like a champ.  I thought maybe she'd learned her lesson. 

Nope.  When it was time to put on her boots and leave Nana's house, she pitched it (minus the going limp like a noodle act, thankfully).  She got to go to the corner again.  It's so much easier to send her to her room when she's yelling, but that wasn't an option in this case. 

**sigh**  Didn't I just write something about her being a mostly obedient child just a few posts ago?  What happened? 

Ok, not to exclude anyone, but I'm looking for some ideas here.  If there's one thing I've figured out from having kids, teaching kids, and being a big sister to so many kids, it's that using only one form of discipline over and over isn't all that effective.  Being consistent about what's ok and what isn't is VERY important, but I need to have more than just the corner or her room as an answer to these awful displays of temper.  Is it even possible to teach a two year old that words work better than screaming? 

Screaming Pro.  Ash at 2 weeks.


Amy said...

Wish I could help! But any advice I could give would just sound like a bunch of hot air since I'm a first time mommy myself.

Good luck with Ashy! Keep smiling.

Myrnie said...

The two is your oldest, right?? I'm finding that I'm a lot more laid back about my two-year-old's ultra-tantrums, just because her five-year-old's ultra tantrums are amazing, 45 minute, affairs when she really gets tired and over the edge (which happens especially when our home rhythm is messed up too much.) If I just can't take the screaming, I go in my room until I feel like I can cope, or put her in her crib for a minute or two until she can stop screaming. Often, the real issue is that she needs face to face cuddle time- my arm is her security item, it's really funny. She gets so upset when I wear sweaters- I hear "No Mommy! Arm! Arm!" It seems to be better when she gets a grasp that I am in control, not her. Like, if I say time to change your diaper, please go pick one out, and she says no....I take her in, pick out the diaper, and she raises a storm, but they get less and less each time because she's learning that I never lie: it is TIME to change your diaper, you can choose if you'll come and help, or if I will do it for you. (That was always the worst punishment for my kids- mom doing something, instead of letting them do it when I asked.) I don't generally punish for tantrums, but I do make them have quiet time until they can be with the family again. So there's my nickel's worth :) A favorite resource of mine is the blog Parenting Passageway, she's a Waldorf/Attachment Parenting mom. I don't always choose the same path as her, but I love how she approaches children at their developmental level, instead of judging them by what adults think is proper.

Redbabe said...

Oh dear.. the terrible two! It's a tough job being a mommy.. Can't help either. Not even a mommy yet :(

Yeah, keep smiling !

Charlotte (Life's a Charm!) said...

Terrible 2, Terrible 3, Terrible teenager! LOL
I had my dose of terrible behaviors from my 4-year old, and anticipating more to come from him and from my other baby. It's never ending, they said.
I had a frustrating experience on disciplining early this year. I cried!
So far, right now, the disciplining that works for my 4-year-old is threatening to throw away his toys of he won't pick them up, or facing the wall if he won't stop crying, or screaming. Our discipline methods really is different each time, each age.
Good luck on your methods.