Friday, March 11, 2011

Today I Screamed.

I went speed walking/jogging today and though my right knee felt a little off, it was a good exercise.  Let me re-phrase that.  It was good except for one little episode.  I jogged on a pretty empty street and it was sprinkling off and on, so the only other person I passed was an elderly gent walking his boston terrier. 

On the way back, I was jogging along and thinking about farming, gardening, and other such crunchy things when I heard the sound of fast approaching footsteps behind me.  I've been semi-mugged before so I started feeling the beginnings of apprehension and was turning to see who was behind me when the "person" started barking aggressively and I saw that it was a dog. 

That's when the 1930s Hollywood starlet screaming began.  Was that really me?  Screaming is my body's gut reaction to frightening experiences.  I wish it was something more useful, like, throwing punches.

The sad thing is it wasn't a large scary dog.  It was a Jack Russell Terrier on steroids.  Or something that looked like one.  But it had teeth and it seemed to want to use them.  On me.  I screamed and hollered and acted like a complete idiot.  I threw gravel at the darn thing and it would retreat and then come lunging back at me. 


The little maniac didn't go away until I picked up the biggest stick I could find and started breaking the branches off of it so I could give my attacker a huge whack.  

Sorry to the dog lovers reading this (I'm not a huge fan of dogs, though I've met a few two I truly liked) but I have no patience for animals like that, nor their owners who don't keep them inside or on a leash.  I can understand dogs wanting to defend their territory, but helloooooo!  On a public road here!  Didn't even see which property the fat, little piranha came from. 

Took me a while to stop shaking and then after that subsided I started laughing.  Sure hope nobody saw my lovely and loud display!

13 comments:

Myrnie said...

I've done that, it's scary!

MommyMert said...

Hahaahahahaha!!!! :) Good mental picture. I am with you.. dog chasing who have freaked me out too.

Just Bits and Pieces said...

LOL!!! I am a dog lover....but not a lover of crazy dogs! They should ALWAYS be on a leash unless at a dog park! And dogs that are not good with other dogs should NOT be taken to an off-leash park!!!! Glad you escaped!

Amy said...

This cracked me up!! "other such crunchy things"... "fat little piranha"... the "crazy eyes"... you are HILARIOUS!

I wonder... do you mind if I use that line about the crunchy things in a novel? I just think it's too funny.
*I'm not an author yet, just an aspiring one. I look for inspiration everywhere and HOPE one day to get my big break.

Drama queens mum (Kimberly) said...

I'm not a dog person either. Hopefully no one did see you screaming & flailing. haha.

Rachel said...

hahahahaha! I love your pictures and the mental images they produced! I hope you never encounter that dog again!

Stephanie Faris said...

That's the very reason I don't walk outside anymore. I got a treadmill and do all my walking inside. I don't even feel safe taking my dog for a walk because every time I do, some unleashed dog is out running around, putting both me and my dog in danger.

Milk and Honey Mommy said...

Jamie,

I love dogs, but defend yourself by any means necessary. I'm looking forward to running again and the one thing that I'm not looking forward to is the dogs who think THEY own the road you run on. One time, I got so frustrated (scared had left me) that I stopped running in my tracks, turned, and yelled at the dog to get away from me. I looked and sounded crazy, but he totally backed off. He was big, but not as vicious looking as the one in your picture. Under other circumstances, my idea probably wasn't too bright, but who wants to run w/mace and a big 'ol stick?

Vicky said...

I hope you managed to give the dog a good whack... hopefully then it'll think twice before terrorising someone else!

Elizabeth said...

You are hilarious! But, seriously, I know how you feel. I was out for a walk in the country near my parents home in VA one time and these two, twin some-kind-of-dogs would NOT let me up the road to go back home. They absolutely would NOT and I thought I would be stuck to that spot in the road until I grew old and died had my father not come looking for me in his car. They were mean dogs! Glad you were ate or bit today - whew!

Elizabeth said...

I mean, I'm glad you WEREN'T ate or bit (country talk!).

alissa4illustration said...

Oh creepy! I would have done the same exact thing! I'm not an animal lover.

Kerry McCullough said...

That's so funny, but mostly scary! I don't blame you for swinging a stick :)