Thursday, June 7, 2012

Today I Thought About Being a Hermit.

I'll keep this one short.  Basically, Ash got her feelings hurt when some of the neighbor girls, she was playing with, all of a sudden decided to tell her she couldn't play with them anymore. 

I gave them a lecture about how mean and rude that was, but to be frank, if that's how they are going to behave, I don't want my kids playing with them anyways.  Last things I want my kids to say are, "You can't play with me," "I'm not going to be your friend," or "I hate you."  I abhor mean girls (and boys).  It's pointless and hurtful.  And no one can say, "Oh, they're just being kids."  No.  That's not ok at any age.  And it's our job, as the adults, to help them understand that.

If we moved off to live in the woods of Alaska, we could probably avoid these sad instances.  But, I don't really want to shut myself and my family off from all other people.  We'd miss out on all the nice families that there are around us everywhere. 

**sigh**  I just wish I could shield my girls from all emotional pains.  I think hurt feelings are infinitely more ouchy than skinned knees.  All I could do in this situation was let Ash know that what those girls were saying was not nice and that we don't talk like that or treat people that way. 

I thought about letting Ash take a fun toy outside and then not letting the mean girls play with it since they had decided to exclude her from their games.  It would have made a lovely point, but I'm not sure if that's not just fighting spite with spite.

Guess I'd better get good at helping my kids feel love and accepted at home at all times to offset any of these negative experiences they have elsewhere.  It's so hard though!  The hurt isn't really something I can completely protect them from (without moving us to the boonies) because I can't control the actions and words of others.

Have any of you had experience with these types of scenarios?  What did you do?  Or what would you do?

(see?  i just hate seeing my babies eyes full of sad tears.  this is ash two summers ago.  she didn't want to hold still for pictures.)


Saimi said...

Oh Jamie how it breaks a mother's heart to see her children hurting! I think it's the worse pain a mother could go through.

Raising boys doesn't come with that kind of drama. They don't get caught up in the petty things girls do so I don't have hands on advice for you.

I have seen my boys upset about other things but they have this tendency to clam up and not want to talk, they sort of work it out internally which makes it even harder for the mom.

I know you are a wonderful mother and your girls are blessed to have you. What ever challenge they face in life they know you will be there for them.

Hang in there!

My Journey With Candida said...

This is the second post I have read today about little mean girls who don't want to play with others.

You are never going to be able to shield your girls from people like that ./.. It is a fact of life and I think it makes us stronger people. All you can do is teach them that acting like a mean girl is WRONG!!

KBoo said...

I remember watching Star playing outside (from inside through an open window), when some girls came walking down the street. Star called hi out to them, and one of them starting yelling snotty stuff at her. The other girls laughed. I just yelled "HEY!!!" in a super loud grouchy voice. They high-tailed it outta there, and we never had problems with it again. Lol. I've since them told Star we always talk nice to people, even if they're brats. Because they are still people, and they have feelings, even if it doesn't seem like it sometimes.

Rachel said...

This broke my heart. Scraped knees can be fixed, but this kind of pain can't.

I hope Ash is ok and that she finds some nice friends soon!

mun said...

How sad. I hope Ash is happy again after a while and forget this unpleasant incident. When this happens to me, I usually leave them and try to forget the incident. They are just not worth my time.